"Because the more we get together the more i see the bad side of mine 
How can one be so ugly and that person is me."

Secretly

Reading back to my previously posts, I smiled. Everyone has been silly for at least once in their life time, and I truly appreciate everything that happened, for us to grow stronger.

Have you ever been caught in a situation whereby no matter what you do, you're wrong?

Anyway,千万不能倒下

Gratitude

Each day I wake up with blissful & grateful feeling, I hope it stays this way, or in a better one. Thank you. :)

Random updating

Hehehe, start my blog post with a little guilty inside. Am just wasting my time to scroll on other's blog instead of spending my time to do revision for upcoming midterm test. 

I was imagining, one day everything will be fine. There's no more worries, no more pain & sorrow. Achieve what's in my wishlist because there are still a lot that need to be ticked off. 



One day I'll be where I wanted to be. Not the place, but the value. 

My emotion had been dragged to the ground for quite awhile this morning. I know there's always some reasons to put a smile on face but bet everyone has got their hard time. Guess most of you will understand how it feels like, when there's certain thoughts pop out on your mind and then you lost your control. 

Okay, basically it's caused by my coursework & homework plus part of my personal mixed feeling of thinking a lot of unimportant issues. Over thinking kills you. It's very very true. I'm unhappy because I was over thinking at that moment. And then I've wasted a whole morning just to look for the movie that our tutor asked us to watch & do an analysis. I still have some homework that yet to be done right now, so I guess here by I'll stop my blog post. CHILLAX! Girl, CHILLAX!

And you know what? While I typing this I received some good news from my coursemate! Hahaha! So, lesson I learnt today, 'Let your thought decide your mood, don't let your mood decide your thought.' 

A cloudy Saturday

I close my eyes & sing a song.

Try to imagine you're here,

shed me away from tears. 

Collapsed

No one will truly understand this kind of disappointment, and the sorrow it brings.

Neither you, he or she.

Only me, myself.

I'm totally collapse today.

Can't stop myself from sobbing.

Seeking for the truth can be so much hurting.

Process of pursue the thing you want can be such tiring. 

Feel myself as fragile as crystal ball at this moment.
Might broken anytime of gently touch.

Still praying for the last chance. 

Prove me that good things will really come to those who wait.
Please.

New chapter of life

I'm gonna step into a new chapter of my life real soon. Somehow I still feel lost at this moment, I doubted did I made the right decision?

Just read through an essay this morning, it's about 'The 10 Reasons Why No One Knows What They're Doing in Their 20's'. The feeling is so 'meh' while I'm reading.
fyi: I define the word 'meh' as undescribable  feeling, sort of helpless feeling.

I'm not really scared to adapt into a new learning environment, I'm not scared to make a bunch of new friends, in fact, I'm ready myself to meet a bunch of awesome new friends. But I really afraid of moving out from my house, my home. Though it's not now, but soon or later, I'll need to survive in a new place without seeing those familiar faces everyday, nagging by them often, sleeping in my princess room every night. So insecure feeling, and I don't really like this feeling. I'm a very homesick person, like seriously. Still remember that once I went for outstation due to working, for 7 days I cannot back home. The moment I received the call from my mum my tears are dropping out from my eyes & my mum was so worried about me, kept asking me whether what had happened. Haha, so funny as now I reflecting back the conversation & the scene. My colleagues were all there, quite malu hahaha. 

I was told that everyone needs to step out from our comfort zone in order to grow, just another lesson to learn in our life. Guess one day I'll understand this principle. And as for why I mentioned that I'm afraid of making a wrong decision. That's because the course I applied is not the first place in my mind, although I'm quite interested with it. 

Too many to consider, sigh...... I need some guidance. Am feeling so 'MEH' right now.

Just some personal feelings

Concealing feeling is just not my type of thing. I frequently share my stories to other, no matter it's happiness or sadness one. And this is because I believe people will share their joy too.

But in life, everyone seems like used to hide their real personality in order to avoid getting hurt by others. Telling the truth seems like just what a fool will exactly did.

I often wonder, is that I 入世未深? Those who I thought I could believe, they broke the credit. At the end, there was a thick wall built up between us. Throwing tantrum is definitely not a smart choice, silence is golden at the moment.

In real life, those who are good looking always enjoy the special treatment while some others are really putting effort on work. In fact, I think this is uncompromising. People tend to look things from surface no matter how good or how bad the personality you were hiding inside. And how you define the word 'pretty' or 'handsome'? Everyone is special. No?

As I veining all about this, I do actually know & understand that there are uncountable different personality in human, just it's yet to discover. Well, I still believing, no one is perfect, but everyone is unique. The difference between our thinking & values might probably brought us closer, just as if you learn to tolerate & communicate in a correct way.

All these are just some of my personal thought that came into my mind last night before I fall asleep.
Giver & taker, which character do you prefer? :)